Celebrating the Life of Ann Hetram
I am heartbroken. My wife, life partner & business partner Ann Hetram passed away unexpectedly on Sunday, March 30.
We will have a Celebration of Life in Ann’s honour to share stories on Thursday, April 17 at 3 PM, followed by a reception until 8 PM.
Details at the end of this talk.
I would like to share:
- Our life together and what she means to me.
- Her unique qualities.
- Some of the excessively generous acts she has done. I call them “Ann’s Acts of Kindness”.
Our Life Together and What She Means to Me
Ann was truly my life partner in every way. She means much more to me than just being my wife. She was my best friend, we shared most of our friends, we were key parts of both our families, and we did many things together – but she was also my business partner. For many years we shared an office and did client meetings together, so she was with me all the time. 24/7. Our office started in our home and then moved across the street, so she was always close.
I met Ann taking the Dale Carnegie course. The sales guy said it would change my life. It changed my life completely!
I was smitten with Ann from the first day. She was doing an example of a memory technique where she was the “Swami”. She memorized 30 items named by class members in order. She was asked to identify them in a random order (“Which one is number 17?”). When all were named but one, she was asked which one is left. She was 100% right. I was in awe!
She looked awesome in power skirt suits and became Dale Carnegie’s top instructor in Ontario.
She was amazing at reading people and knows what she wants. For example, I was surprised when she asked me about getting married after dating only 4 months.
Everything she did was done in her own unique way. We were married in the home we bought together. It was a house party for 45 people and just fun. My Dad was the minister. My mother was the Best Man. Her Dad was the Maid of Honour. We saw fireworks on our wedding night because my brother and cousin did a show in the evening. Nothing was traditional – but it was perfect for us.
She made quick decisions with good insights. When we got married, I was an accountant working for a multinational company with a pension. A year later, I announced that I wanted to quit my job and become a financial planner, which meant commission-only pay & no pension. Her quick answer was that she is okay with it as soon as the mortgage is paid off. She figured I would fail, but she could pay all our lifestyle expenses from her pay.
I started our practice while still working full time. We paid off our mortgage in only 3 years, and then I quit my job and went full time.
We had decent management incomes, but Ann played a big part in us paying off our mortgage so quickly. She was always frugal – didn’t spend much and knew how to save money. She searched through flyers hunting for sales. Her rules for groceries were buy on sale and always “buy 6”. Why 6? For Ann, 6 is the right number.
I could never have built our financial planning practice without her – or even started it. When we met, Ann already had a financial advisor, a growth portfolio and an investment loan. These are ideas we use in our practice. I learned about it by sitting in on her meetings with her advisor and found it all fascinating. She started my passion for financial planning.
Ann constantly received promotions in all her jobs. She started as a temporary help receptionist and was promoted a few times within a couple years to become warehouse manager, master scheduler, and Materials Manager for Lepage’s (the company that made the white glue you ate as a kid).
After 3 years, I needed an assistant, but she had a good management job and would have to give up a nice salary. Nevertheless, she gave it all up and joined me in my practice.
Ann has been the perfect business partner. She did everything that I was not good at or didn’t like – and she was good at everything. She started by completely organizing all our admin. She was a master organizer. She created double-checks in the processes, so I don’t think she ever made a mistake.
She joined my financial planning meetings and everyone seeing us work together said we are an awesome team! I was the knowledgeable financial planner and she connected with everyone on a personal level. I would often explain something in perfectly good English. She watched them and could tell if they didn’t understand. Then she would ask, “You didn’t understand that, did you?” She then explained it in simpler yet effective words, so the clients understood the concepts.
For years, Ann was the first to talk with people interested in becoming new clients. She could read who is sincere and connect with them. She could see if they were not a fit for us and she effectively screened them out without offending them. I often heard her say, “Perhaps we are not the right advisor for you.” She was tough when she needed to be. Whoever got past Ann was almost always a great client.
We hired employees together. When I look back now, the ones that stayed for years and became an indispensable part of our practice were all people she selected.
We both love cruises. We took a cruise and a trip to Winnipeg every year to spend time with my family and childhood friends. I soon realized that my friends – even my childhood friends – liked Ann more than me.
Ann was an awesome cake decorator, but she would only do them for close friends or family. And always for free. We have beautiful samples in our home displayed in a china cabinet. She joined the Canadian Society of Sugar Artists and is a director. Club members did some amazing things that even non-decorators could appreciate. They won “best booth” in the Canada Blooms flower show with only icing sugar flowers. They created a 4-foot blown sugar replica of the Junos statue for the show. When Will & Kate married and announced their wedding cake, they created an exact replica over 3 days at the Home Show. Many members of the club became Ann’s good friends.
Ann loved crafts and did courses in more than 100 crafts. The way to get under her skin was to name a craft she has not done. Someone told her they had done caning for making Adirondack chairs. It bugged her that she had not done it. After a search, she took a course in caning. Our home is full of craft supplies.
Ann loved flowers and could name almost any flower she saw. On one of our vacations, she took over 100 pictures. When I looked at them, one was of the resort pool and all the rest were close-ups of flowers.
She designed a beautiful backyard for us with separate raised beds for flowers, herbs, and peppers, several fruit trees, and a waterfall & pond. The flower beds were all perennials selected so that different flowers bloomed continuously from spring to fall like a beautiful orchestra.
Ann loved the theatre. We went to all the Mirvish musicals the last 20 years. Her favourites, like Wicked and Come From Away we have seen 6 times.
One of my best memories with Ann is our luxury Mediterranean cruise last year. It was our first cruise with just the 2 of us. So many interesting sites! Then we spent a week with her “intentions group” friends in Switzerland. It is so beautiful. The entire vacation was such a special time of togetherness for us.
Her Unique Qualities
I know thousands of people, but don’t know anyone that is like Ann. She is unique in many ways.
I never doubted that she loved me, but she was not romantic or lovey-dovey.
Ann’s idea is that we should rent kids – not own them. We didn’t have our own, which gave us much more energy for other people’s kids. Ann was great with kids and connected with our nieces & nephews, as well as a few of our friends’ kids. At one point, we had 13 godchildren. We thought that if there was a catastrophe, we were in big trouble!
Ann was foremost a personal coach. Her intuition about people was astoundingly accurate. She had a knack for seeing when someone needed help and was open to it. She would go way out of her way to help people – often in ways that were just over the top.
She had an amazing memory. For me, it was sometimes too good. She was quick to point out things I said or did years ago. She remembered precise details of events years ago.
Ann had 2 hobbies that required her memory and cost nothing. She collected birthdays and famous dead people. She knew the birthday for most of the people close to her. If you named a day of the year, she could tell you who had a birthday that day. I suggested she put it in a computer program, but she had them all in her head and didn’t need help remembering.
She had to know who is dead and who is alive. You could rarely stump her on whether a famous person is still alive. Every year, she had to see the year-end memorials to see who died.
Some of the Excessively Generous Acts She Has Done – Ann’s Acts of Kindness
I call them “Ann’s Acts of Kindness”. Ann could sense when you needed help and were sincere about it. She often went way over the top to help someone. There are at least 100 stories like this. I know many, but have become aware there are many I don’t know about. They are not my stories to tell. If you have a story, I would love to hear it.
Many people Ann is very close to involved an “Ann’s Act of Kindness”.
The person probably closest to Ann besides me is Ravin. He was a recent immigrant from Guyana that Ann took under her wing. He will tell a bit of his story. Ann sees him every day. He is an indispensable part of our life now. Ann & I both think of him like our son.
Ann also talked with Pop (her Dad) every day, helping him with all kinds of issues including his development in Fort Erie. She bought him a tablet & smartphone, and taught him the basics of using them. He is not at all techy, so this took an immense amount of time.
Our nephews and nieces have been important to us. For many years, we went to see Vinny’s 3 kids every Friday. If work was so busy we could not possibly go, Ann insisted we go anyway. We also went on Disney vacations with them every 2nd year. This was always priority for Ann.
There are some widows or single women she talks with every week, which gives them a connection in their lives. She has an “intentions group” she spends an hour with every week and is close to all the members.
In her cake club, Ann helped some top cake decorators negotiate a fair price for the work from “Bridezillas”, who wanted a huge discount on a beautiful cake with tons of handmade flowers that would take the cake decorator 20 or 30 hours. They made them out of love and accepted prices that would be less than minimum wage. Ann coached them to insist on a fair price and not accept work from those that didn’t appreciate the quality of their work.
Ann’s Acts of Kindness gave her deep connections with many people.
Tell Me Your Stories With Ann
If you have a story about Ann, your relationship with her, or you have an example of Ann’s Act of Kindness, I want to hear these stories. They are my most treasured thoughts about Ann.
If you want to share them at her Celebration of Life, please tell me so we can put you on the list. You could also just tell me at the reception, or email me the story so I have it forever.
Celebrating the Life of Ann Hetram
We will have a Celebration of Life reception in Ann’s honour on Thursday, April 17. The actual gathering to share stories about Ann is at 3 PM, followed by an informal reception until 8 PM. Bring your stories with Ann. It’s casual dress. The Celebration of Life is at Turner & Porter, 2180 Hurontario Street, Mississauga, ON.
Ann’s Celebration of Life will be livestreamed if you can’t attend in person. It will also be recorded to watch later. The links will appear here: https://turnerporter.permavita.com/site/AnnHetram.html .
Link to watch livestream at 3 PM: https://www.youtube.com/live/wTU2LwBspx8 .
Link to watch recording will appear here when available.
In lieu of flowers, Ed & Ann have started a charitable foundation called “Best Things First”, based on a book about a study to identify the most cost-effective charities in the world. As a financial guy, it’s the first time I have seen someone trying to estimate the benefit for each dollar donated.
The “Best Things First” foundation is part of Charitable Impact (a registered charity). We plan to provide regular donations to the GiveWell Top Charities Fund. Details here: https://link.charitableimpact.com/eZdtsqQ8gSb .
You can donate in the secure portal to the “Best Things First” charitable foundation here:
I would love to hear your stories with Ann at her Celebration of Life or by email.
Ed
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Ed: I’m so sorry to hear of Ann’s untimely passing. It is often said that the pain of losing someone so close can only be weathered by remembering the loving memories you’ve made with them. Your tribute to Ann is lovely, and serves to document your cherished life together. May these memories bring you peace.
Hi Mike & Michelle,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
Ed
Dear Ed,
Words cannot express how saddened we are to learn of your loss. Ann always had a warm smile and was so easy to talk with. Your thoughts of Ann reminded Michelle and I of meeting you both over 20 years ago. We had just been married and were relatively new to the working world and personal finances, but you and Ann welcomed us to your home where you explained your approach and how we would work together. I remember sitting on the floor in your living room thinking this was quite different than I expected and was certainly the start of a very different working relationship! You mentioned it in your story, but Ann could so easily tell we were both overwhelmed and she was great at translating it to us based on our level of understanding. We both remember leaving your home feeling these are good people with our best interests at heart. A lasting impression. Thank you for sharing your memories of Ann, it is a wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Mike and Michelle Hudson
Hi Karen,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
Ed
Hi David,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
We probably did not meet, except at a Lepage’s Christmas party, but I know your name from stories Ann told me.
Ed
Ed, We are so sorry for your loss of Ann. I didn’t meet her, but spoke on the phone a bit during tax time. What a wonderful tribute to her you have shared! A unique individual, indeed!
May she rest in peace, and may you find peace and comfort in the many years of memories you have shared.
Take good care,
Karen and Jud
Dear Ed, I had the privilege of working with Ann while she was at LePage. I am deeply saddened to hear of her sudden passing. She was such a wonderful person. She would always greet you with a smile. Ann has a way of making everyone feel seen and supported. I remember her calm presence during stressful days, always ready with a kind word or a moment of unexpected laughter. Her warmth and quiet strength made her not only a wonderful colleague but someone I genuinely admired. Ann was thoughtful, caring and deeply human.
Though I will be unable to attend the Celebration of Life since I will be out of country, I will be thinking of her and of all of you who loved her dearly.
With sincere condolences
David Pinsonnault
Hi Michael,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Ed
Hi Steve, Brenda, Sam, Olivia, & Jacob,
Thanks so much for the heartfelt words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
Ed
Hi Alan & Kathryn,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
Ed
Hi Rob & Lynn,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
Ed
Hi Brenda & Greg,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Ed
Hi Catherine,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Yes, Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Ed
Hi Brian,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Ron,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Lynn & Fergus,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
Ed
Hi Rolf & Tammy,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thanks for sharing your experience with Ann.
Ed
Ed, a wonderful tribute to Ann and your life and time together. My condolences to you, everyone at Oakland and all who were so very close to Ann. Best wishes.
Ed, there are really no words I can share that would convey how sorry we are for your loss. Both you and Ann have been such large part of our family’s life for so many years. What started out as “business” quickly turned into “family”, and that is because of Ann. We will miss her laugh, her smile, and her very quick wit. She always made us feel at home. Our deepest condolences to you, the extended families, and to everyone in the office. May Ann rest in peace. She was truly a beautiful soul.
Ed, we’re so sorry to hear about Ann. She was always so lovely and helpful when we needed assistance, and this tribute is a wonderful glimpse into your lives, to get to know her a bit better. It sounds like you made the most of your time together making wonderful memories.
Our condolences to you and the whole Oakland team.
Take care
Dear Ed,
We’re very saddened to hear of Ann’s passing, our sincere condolences for the loss of such a great person.
Ann was instantly likable upon first meeting with her, she had unique qualities which surely helped her in getting to know people, such as a new client for example.
Ann exemplified professionalism, and was such a nice person to interact with.
We were happy to help her with a discount on appliances, and she really appreciated it.
As Ann was involved with baking, and decorating cakes; she also enjoyed our homemade chocolate chip banana bread on occasion.
We will miss Ann, may she rest in peace.
Love ❤️
We are very sad to read this Ed.
Ann sounds like an amazing Spirit and it was inspiring to hear your wonderful tribute and see pictures. Wish we could have met her.
Wishing you, friends and family Grace and Serenity.
Ed, you’ve given such a wonderful tribute to Ann and your life together with her that we absolutely KNOW she will live on! How marvelously skilled if you. Very sad to hear of her passing …. Ann made such a great impact on the lives of so many, including you! Sincerest condolences
A wonderful life story for Ann, Ed. My condolences.
Rarely if ever have I read such a touching tribute, Ed. My sincere condolences on the passing of your beloved wife, Anne; she comes to life when your heartfelt description of her is read. May she rest in peace knowing that she was loved and appreciated.
Dear Ed: We e are so very sorry to hear of the loss of your partner and love of your life. Ann was still so young, and the fact that her death was unexpected makes it all the more unbearably poignant. You have recorded such a beautiful tribute in the midst of your shock and loss. Thank you for letting us know so much about the richness she brought to your life and the lives of others. Along with your families, no doubt her loss is felt deeply by all those working with you. Our hearts go out to you, and you will be very much in our prayers.
Hi Janet,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with Ann.
Ed
Hi Kim,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Gary,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Debbie & Dave,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Thanks for sharing your memories and experiences with Ann.
Ed
Hi Les & Isabel,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with Ann.
Ed
Hi Ravi,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Harry,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Janet,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Lydia,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Ed, both Tammy and I are still shocked with Ann’s passing so unexpectedly. My last conversation I had with Ann was in January where we would catch up with each other when she was feeling better, sadly we did not have that conversation together.
We had so many special times together and I had promised Ann that I would attend a Theater Show last summer because she always attended the Rock concerts that we had always wanted to see and often with bands that Ann didn’t know there music.
The conversations that we had so often together will always stay near and dear to my heart. We will miss you Ann and we know you are at a better place where you no longer have pain, rather peace and well being xoxoxo
Hi Caroline,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
I know Ann enjoyed your company, especially the dinner & theatre evenings.
Ed
Hi Virna,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Ben,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Aaron,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Vincenzo,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Nachelle,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
Ed
Hi Helen,
Thanks so much for the kind words and the support.
I am heartbroken. Ann made a real difference in many peoples lives.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with Ann. Your time staying with us was a lot of fun. I know Ann enjoyed your company. I appreciate you have recently lost your beloved Ralph, so you know how I feel.
Ed
Vince and I are in shock and in sadness to hear about Ann. The last time I talked with her was about our 2023 tax returns. I found her to be meticulous and thorough and even though we were new to the process, the returns went without a glitch.Your video is so touching and we are glad that you share it with us. Our condolences to you and your family.
I did not have the pleasure of meeting Ann (or you for that matter yet), but I have appreciated your website & advice for years. It’s inspiring to hear of your incredible teamwork and her generous heart.
Thank you for sharing such a touching tribute publicly. May you find peace in the coming week & months.
Hi Ed,
The video you put together is incredibly moving — what a beautiful tribute to Ann. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a life partner, especially someone as special as Ann clearly was. Even though I never had the chance to meet her, your words and memories painted a picture of a truly remarkable person.
Many of the qualities you spoke about reminded me of my own wife, which made your tribute all the more touching.
While I won’t be able to attend the Celebration of Life, please know that my thoughts are with you. Wishing you strength and comfort in the days ahead.
Guy
We are shocked and so sorry to hear of Ann’s passing, Ed. We will always remember her kindness in how she helped us with paperwork needed when we moved to Mexico. It was complicated, but that never deterred her. Her instructions were always precise, the paperwork perfectly put together. When we first met you both we were in awe of her talent at figuring out personalities suited best for certain investments. She amazed us when she told us some of her hobbies, and the many people she’d met in her life, including from my ex-country, South Africa. We thoroughly enjoyed joining you for a dinner and a play in Toronto. A memory always held dear. Ann will always be close in our thoughts, and please accept our deepest sympathies for your great loss. Your life has been enriched by her presence in your life, something you will always have. Thank you for your story. May she rest in eternal peace. Love, Debbie & Dave
So very sad to learn of Ann’s untimely passing. It seems like yesterday we were at High school together.
Although our relationship was of a professional nature, we thought fondly of her because of her friendly and no nonsense guidance. Ed, thank you for sharing your heartfelt tribute to Ann. Our condolences to you and the whole Qakland Team. Les and Isabel
Sorry for your loss Ed. I didn’t ever have the pleasure in meeting Ann, however your amazing write up, sheds great incite to Ann.
Dear Ed,
So sorry to read of your sudden unexpected lost. May the Lord comfort and uphold you.
sincerely,
Harry D
Ed,
What a lovely heartfelt tribute to your wife Ann.
May your many wonderful memories sustain you through this
very difficult time.
Ed, I was so sorry to hear about Anne’s passing. Please accept my deepest condolences. I hope you’re surrounded by love and support right now, and that you’re able to find moments of peace as you remember her.
Beautiful tribute to such an amazing person. Ann is surely smiling down from heaven. May her soul rest in eternal peace.
I am so sorry for your loss Ed. Ann was so sweet whenever we met. What a treasure to have such a partner for a lifetime. I will keep both of you in our prayers and my deepest condolences to you.
So very sorry for your loss Ed. RIP Ann
Beautiful tribute to your wife! Very sorry for your loss Ed.
Cheers,
Ben
Ed – There are no words. Be well.
Ed, I am very sorry for your loss. Thank-you for sharing Ann’s story. May she rest in peace and may you find strength. Vince
Ed, I am so very sorry for your loss. What an amazing tribute to a wonderful person. Take good care of yourself at this time and may she rest in peace.
Such a Special tribute to a special lady who made Gill and I so welcome in Canada when we launched our cake decorating book. Thank you Ed . Memories last forever and Ann ( and you) are certainly part of those memories. Ann was always that free spirit loving life to the fullest and making the best of every opportunity. RIP Ann
Thank you for your support, Loonie. I am heartbroken. It is reassuring to know I have so much support.
Ed
Very sorry to hear this news, Ed. Hearing the story of your and Ann’s love really moved me. I hope you can find strength during this difficult time. May she rest in peace.